No comment, just awe, for so many reasons.

Voicemail

I call a lot of people as a health coach. Most of the time I don't reach the person I'm trying to reach. Instead, I get a voicemail (I've become very good at leaving succint, informative, friendly messages).

Today I called a new client and the voicemail I reached was more or less the following (in a very sassy woman's voice--I'm convinced is African American):

"Hi. You've reached XXXX and XXXX. We've made some changes in our lives and if you're not a part of those changes, we won't be calling you back. Leave a message. Have a blessed day."

It went something like that. Mallory, correct me if I'm wrong.

I couldn't believe how bold this message was! I could only imagine what changes this couple had made. Did they give up a life of hard core drugs? Did they stop associating with certain family members who had crossed them? Did they leave a cult?

I felt weird leaving my health coach message, wondering if I (specifically, health) was something they were no longer associating with. Would they call me back? Or would I not be part of those changes? At least her closing statement was a positive one. Wishing a blessed day upon whomever is calling her. Thank you, XXXX, I hope I have a blessed day too.

Make me a guest judge!

My dream come true would be guest starring on Top Chef or Iron Chef as a judge. I swear I would be so entertaining! I'd say really smart things and be sassy. I want so badly to eat the food created on these shows. I watch week after week with glands salivating, hoping that someday I'll taste food of that caliber. Moving to San Francisco definitely moves me toward this dream, not being on a cooking show, but at least eating amazing food. The best meal I've ever eaten was at the Tree Room and I died over every morsel of the 5 course meal (thanks Jon Jon). Doesn't my appreciation for food deserve to be fed?! Come on!

I dig Ichiban's Happy Hour

What luck. We show up to Ichiban's for our Anniversary dinner and its happy hour! Sushi, half off. Appetizers, half off. Oh Ichiban, you have appealed to my taste buds and frugality...I'll see you soon.

Softball with dad is awesome

Last night Scott and I had a softball game with our co-ed team, "Back to the Future", and it was awesome. My dad, Scott's dad and Katie, Daniel and Parker all showed up to cheer us on. While we were getting our line-up together we overheard the opposing team discussing their shortage of men for the game (league rules state that their must be equal numbers of boys and girl per team). My dad pipes right in, "I could play if you need me to. My cleats and glove are in my trunk." Dad loves to play sports and he competes in a men's D-league team on Thursdays, so naturally his equipment would be in his car. The opposing team, "Smack That", was happy to have him temporarily join their team so as to avoid an automatic out each inning or so. Dad jogged to his Jetta and grabbed his gear. I called him a traitor.

I know that dad is quite an athlete even though he is 5* years young (I'll leave it a mystery), and I knew he would be an asset to their team. Dang it. We're not used to winning, so the automatic out rule would have been a welcome advantage to us. Don't get me wrong, we play our hearts out and we've got some real sluggers.

I get up to bat (2nd in the order) and dad is pitching. It's a Gray face-off. Will dad strike out his daughter? Will he be nice and lob in an easy pitch? If any of you know Jim Gray, you know he'd never throw a game. The result, I dink a stupid hit after a full count and get out at first. My second up, a walk (thanks pop). My third up, a dink after full count and dad throws me out at first. Sheesh.

Midway through the game we got pelted with rain and attacked by a windstorm that felt like needles on my skin. I even got dirt in my teeth. Best game of the season.

Toward the end of the game dad dove from the pitcher's mound for a grounder and skidded across the brown grit, knocking down the ball (and scratching up his hands terribly). To his great dismay, the 1st basewoman underestimated his skills and went for the ball too. Result: no one to cover first, dad's dive was in vain. Like father, like son-in-law. Scott was in the outfield and dove high in the air to catch a fly (that sadly escaped him) and he landed hard in the grass...always willing to sacrifice his body for the game. What great men.

So who won? Well, we were up 7-0, then 7-3 for most of the game. But because of dad's contributions, we ended up losing by one point in the final minutes of the game. DANG IT! However, I'd gladly lose every game if Jim Gray were playing on the opposing team. Grit, rain, personal errors, sparking electrical wires (this actually happened, just like "The Natural") and all, I'd play that game again without hesitation.

Photos coming soon...

Colbert, you are why I miss cable

Blogger is driving me nuts

Why does Blogger decide to space out some paragraphs and not others? What is the matter with this thing? Arg...

Smoker's Paradise

I am so sick of smelling cigarette smoke as it wafts into our apartment windows from our awesome neighbors to the north and the east of us. I wake up at 6:45am and come out to my desk to begin my work. I open the window to enjoy the fresh morning air. Blech. The scent of a burning cigarette assaults my nostrils. At night I open up our bedroom window and lay in bed, hoping to enjoy a nice breeze. Blech. Cigarettes smoke.

It's probably one of the top 3 worst smells ever. I often look out my window to see how close the smoker is to my window and 95% of the time I can't even see anyone. Where is the smoke coming from? How far does cigarette smoke travel?

I hate you cigarette smoke. Plus, you're killing whomever you're originating from. You are a terrible foe. Ironically, I usually spend some part of my day working with a client on smoking cessation. If only my neighbors were interested in quitting...

P.S. Please consider quitting if you smoke. When you are old you'll most likely regret the damage you've done to your health. Perhaps you already regret the damage you're doing to your lungs. There is probably a local quitline you can call for smoking cessation support. Google "quit smoking" and you'll find something. I talk to clients who have been smoking for decades and they have all sorts of trouble breathing and they sound awful. Your lungs are amazing and will regenerate rapidly once you quit, so it's not too late.

What a year...

Today is our 1st anniversary. Raise your hand if you remember this day, last year, when Scott and I joined forces and became a power couple. If you're not raising your hand, I feel sorry that you've missed out.

I woke up this morning last year, tried on my finished dress for the first time and my dad couldn't zip it up. I freaked out. Then Sue tried to zip it, and wahla! Sheesh, dad, I really thought my dress wouldn't fit. Anyway, May 19th last year was definitely the most fun day I've ever had and I appreciate everyone who came to the reception (from near and far) or sent us gifts. I wish we could have a one year party and see everyone again.

In the past year, Scott and I have been greatly blessed and I know that I've had a blast...I think Scott has too. I would definitely recommand marriage to anyone who is ready and has found the right person for them. My eyes have been opened to my own ridiculous selfishness through being married, but I think that I have become a better person because of it. Here's to being married to someone awesome!

Maybe this post will be a catalyst to many more future posts. I know you're all dying to read more about my life...I don't blame you. :)

Boo

I haven't felt like writing anything in a couple weeks. Uninspired, I guess. I still have no desire to write anything for this blog. Maybe I'll finish this later.

Congratulations, Lyman Tuttle

I am proud to say that I am related to the famed 'Lord of No', Lyman Tuttle. Lyman, you are an inspiration to those of us who can't say "no". Keep it real.